Work and Life...

I'm really tired and my eyes are aching pretty badly. I think I need to get an eye-test stat. I've always had perfect vision but lately I notice I'm squinting a lot more when I'm working and I'm getting headaches pretty much constantly. I've been popping Advil like it's going out of style and I can only blame it so much on the fluorescent lights at work.

So, speaking of work, I've been there for two weeks now. Things are pretty good. I work with two guys and two girls. I like them all but naturally I get along better with the chicks. ;) The guys are into curling and rock-climbing and other butch things that don't suit me. Everyone is very nice, however, and charming, funny, and talented as well. It's a tad intimidating at times... but then again, I could work with a bunch of retarded chimps and I'd still be self-deprecating. I look forward to getting to the point where I'm comfortable and confident at work and no longer second-guess every decision I make.

The work I've done so far is actually pretty rewarding. I have a lot of creative freedom and have done three projects entirely on my own which is something I didn't expect as they stressed the 'working in groups' aspect of the job in both of my interviews. Currently I'm doing a brochure for Albertan farmers and a guide to Rights and Responsibilities in the Albertan workplace - both of which are government jobs that should look good in the portfolio along with the Parks Canada stuff. I've gotta say, the Alberta identity system is absolutely ridiculous! It's like 45 pages of contradictory rules for incorporating three colored swooshes into government documents. Every time I thought I had it figured out, there was another page stating several other things that were allowed even though the previous page had (I thought) prohibited it.

So all and all, the job is going well. I have a deadline for Monday afternoon that I'm not going to make so I'm going to have to put in some overtime this weekend. It's coming at a bad time too since this is the last weekend we have at the current place. We move next Friday and haven't started to pack yet. *sigh* Guess I won't be getting much rest before Monday.

And now on a somewhat depressing note:
I've been desperately searching for something beautiful in my life lately. Now doesn't that make me sound like the biggest EMO loser ever? I can't really describe what I mean other than to say that nothing has really thrilled or inspired me in a while and I'm craving it. Back in Halifax, there were a lot of things in my life that genuinely made me happy on a daily basis. I liked my apartment, my studio, the city itself... I liked seeing the familiar faces at school and on the street. I had my favorite spots and my routines. All of that stuff contributed to my contentment and I was able to find beauty in a lot of different things. The harbour, the Public Gardens, the walk to the Grocery Store, the market, etc etc etc. I felt like I was always experiencing new things despite living a boring lifestyle. I'm just not articulate enough to get across what I'm trying to say I guess...

I'm going to make an effort when we get to the new place. I want to start collecting those things that make me happy so that at least my home will be a place I feel content in. I've already started picking out prints I want to hang and I've really thought about the colors and textures I love. I have never actually decorated a place before and really hope that this will be an opportunity to start. It's weird that the small bedroom I had in my crappy Halifax apartment felt a lot more comfortable than the whole townhouse I'm in now. I miss having that feeling that I really lived somewhere, you know?

So that's a rambling summary of my life right now.